The battle that I have been fighting for is finally over. 29th November 2011 marks the day whereby all the sufferings and bitterness come to an end. Emotions and visualisation then came into picture. Yes, I do realise that going through this Alevel journey is a tough one but I must also not forget about what is going to happen next. That, is the biggest question mark. To go through A level routine is already planned for me. I just have to organize my time, strategize my study techniques and practice till the final day arrives. However, what comes after A level is a complete different story.
While my friends begin to shred their notes into pieces,threw it into the air and eventually chunk all of their piles of worksheets to the side of the rubbish chute, I did not. It was as if I have not completed this A level battle! Something was really holding me back. It was the feeling of uncertainty, lost yet relieve at the same time. I felt unsure of my future all of a sudden and kept thinking of the possible grades that I may get at the end of the day. And it sucks big time. There was once when I felt really lost. I did not know what to do. I did not know how to react & I did not know why all this thoughts get into my head! The pessimist in me have evolved and I am very confident of that. Perhaps, thanks to econs paper 1, I doubted myself of achieving good grades. Occasionally, I wondered how my life will be like if I happen to fail any of my subjects. To Allah I seek help but each time I have my prayers, the sense of uncertainty gets stronger and much more convincing than before!! ):
Nevertheless, I have to look ahead and start to realise that my future is not as bleak as how it seems to be like. It is just a figment of my imagination. The more I think of it, the more likely it will occur(according to the Law of Attraction). Thus, FADZLI, START BELIEVING THAT YOU CAN! Architecture Course is all I want in University. I dont mind working my ass out without sleep as long as I am able to do what Ive been longing to do since I was sec3!
Whatever it is, life must go on. I guess this is the one chapter of my life that I will never forget till the my very last breath. I must admit that this part of my life takes away my confidence and the level of happiness that I yearned to have. Challenges. Obstacles. Difficulties. These words tie in perfectly to what they say, JC LIFE. Forget about the holistic experience. Forget about the fun loving environment. JC LIFE is all about you handling the toughest challenges and not only battling against the process but also, the most heartbreaking emotions you can ever think off. Its worst that your first break up. I am just so glad that the next chapter of my life is about to begin. The Fadzli you know before have changed to be a person who faced countless defeat, overcame great hurdles and finished off with a deep breath.
Labels: his life changes.
WELL OH WELL..
Feels good to be back typing again in this blog of mine.. New layout for the new year i guess? well, I am making this blog as a platform for me to really express my thought and emotions. I would not call this blog as part of my "diary" but it will be more of a piece of evidence to see how much Ive changed in my thoughts as time flies. So yes, here I am typing like a typical JC student who face persistent difficulties in grammar and sentence structure. hais. English. pfft.
I believe that this is the right time for me to reflect all the stuffs that Ive done in 2010, be it good or bad, it happened. Some may say dont cry because its over but instead, smile because it happened. lets see how it goes for me ya(:
5 things that Im most thankful for in 2010;
1) To have grown from a normal typical trainer (in Adam Khoo LTG outdoor education company ) to the Leader of 5th Generation Coaches.
I truly appreciate the fact that my colleagues have so much faith in me. Most importantly, to be the one to set the standard as a coach for the new comers. Thank you so much, Gopal, Ridz, Shumei, Timothy and my awesome coaches who have supported me since the start of my camp journey, Jerrald, LimHui. Not forgetting the new friends Ive made, Jeryn, Sophie and Rachael. WHOOSAY!
2) Awarded a Bursary Award, $400!
I really got to thank Allah s.w.t for blessing me with such return after all the hard work ive put in for my promos. Eventhough the verification letter have not realised, to have the letter on my parents' hands and seeing them smiling due to my achievements, thats already more than what Ive asked. Alhamdulillah(:
3) 8th in level for H2 Econs and 7th in level for H1 Chemistry.
I believe that if its not because of my teachers who are willing to spend their precious time with me for consultations, I know that I wont be able to survive. My JC friends who have always pressurized me to keep up with work really help alot, eventhough it sucks to the core of the core! Also, my Secondary schoolmates who asked me out for study sessions and its really awesome to see everyone putting in their best for a good reason. im blessed with good people! thank you guys!(:
4) Captain of the 8th Callisto House Committee in MJC(:
Its a tough decision but hey, screw the negative thoughts of it. Its tough yes I agree but this is definitely my cup of tea. WHATS UP CALLISTO?! hahas. told ya! and thank you callisto people who believe in me and accepted the way I lead. Thank you to all who have been persistently motivating me and complimenting the style that I have when leading the cheers, the OGLs, the house comm and yes, the entire cohort! (:
5) To be posted in MJC! hahas
I have no idea why i typed that out but oh well! yes, I must agree that its really tough to get into a competitive and I would say a pristegeous college like MJC. Mugger. Mugger. Muggeridian. thats what M stands for to many. But hey! As a matter of fact, I believe that down the road when I'm in NS or in University or already married with 2 kids, I would still dare to say that I did a right choice to have entered MJC. thats how greatful I am. & just look at the "FUN" i have in MJC now. its LEGEN(wait for it)DARY! (:
5 worst things Ive faced/done in 2010;
cant think of one. LOL. I guess its all back to the meaning of the victim will always remember the culprit and not the other way round. so, opps! ahhas. and yeah, really. for those who Ive hurt their feelings or in whatever way, IM REALLY SORRY ya!(:
WELL OH WELL.
I guess 2010 isnt that bad for me after all.
TIME FLIES but I'M THE PILOT.
2011 will be"AWESOME" but I should be glad for every seconds that have ticked in 2011 cause for every seconds, I know that celebration, party, havoc madness and YES, AK CAMPS! will be waiting for me on the other side. so folks, ROCK ON!(:
Feels good to be back typing again in this blog of mine.. New layout for the new year i guess? well, I am making this blog as a platform for me to really express my thought and emotions. I would not call this blog as part of my "diary" but it will be more of a piece of evidence to see how much Ive changed in my thoughts as time flies. So yes, here I am typing like a typical JC student who face persistent difficulties in grammar and sentence structure. hais. English. pfft.
I believe that this is the right time for me to reflect all the stuffs that Ive done in 2010, be it good or bad, it happened. Some may say dont cry because its over but instead, smile because it happened. lets see how it goes for me ya(:
5 things that Im most thankful for in 2010;
1) To have grown from a normal typical trainer (in Adam Khoo LTG outdoor education company ) to the Leader of 5th Generation Coaches.
I truly appreciate the fact that my colleagues have so much faith in me. Most importantly, to be the one to set the standard as a coach for the new comers. Thank you so much, Gopal, Ridz, Shumei, Timothy and my awesome coaches who have supported me since the start of my camp journey, Jerrald, LimHui. Not forgetting the new friends Ive made, Jeryn, Sophie and Rachael. WHOOSAY!
2) Awarded a Bursary Award, $400!
I really got to thank Allah s.w.t for blessing me with such return after all the hard work ive put in for my promos. Eventhough the verification letter have not realised, to have the letter on my parents' hands and seeing them smiling due to my achievements, thats already more than what Ive asked. Alhamdulillah(:
3) 8th in level for H2 Econs and 7th in level for H1 Chemistry.
I believe that if its not because of my teachers who are willing to spend their precious time with me for consultations, I know that I wont be able to survive. My JC friends who have always pressurized me to keep up with work really help alot, eventhough it sucks to the core of the core! Also, my Secondary schoolmates who asked me out for study sessions and its really awesome to see everyone putting in their best for a good reason. im blessed with good people! thank you guys!(:
4) Captain of the 8th Callisto House Committee in MJC(:
Its a tough decision but hey, screw the negative thoughts of it. Its tough yes I agree but this is definitely my cup of tea. WHATS UP CALLISTO?! hahas. told ya! and thank you callisto people who believe in me and accepted the way I lead. Thank you to all who have been persistently motivating me and complimenting the style that I have when leading the cheers, the OGLs, the house comm and yes, the entire cohort! (:
5) To be posted in MJC! hahas
I have no idea why i typed that out but oh well! yes, I must agree that its really tough to get into a competitive and I would say a pristegeous college like MJC. Mugger. Mugger. Muggeridian. thats what M stands for to many. But hey! As a matter of fact, I believe that down the road when I'm in NS or in University or already married with 2 kids, I would still dare to say that I did a right choice to have entered MJC. thats how greatful I am. & just look at the "FUN" i have in MJC now. its LEGEN(wait for it)DARY! (:
5 worst things Ive faced/done in 2010;
cant think of one. LOL. I guess its all back to the meaning of the victim will always remember the culprit and not the other way round. so, opps! ahhas. and yeah, really. for those who Ive hurt their feelings or in whatever way, IM REALLY SORRY ya!(:
WELL OH WELL.
I guess 2010 isnt that bad for me after all.
TIME FLIES but I'M THE PILOT.
2011 will be"AWESOME" but I should be glad for every seconds that have ticked in 2011 cause for every seconds, I know that celebration, party, havoc madness and YES, AK CAMPS! will be waiting for me on the other side. so folks, ROCK ON!(:
Labels: his life changes.
Hi fellow readers who managed to dropped by after months of me to not even type "blogger.com" once i opened a new window. basically, this post may be quite emotional yet for u readers. SO bare with it ya?
The last time I posted something in this blog of mine was like before February. Those were the times when lots of memorable experience came by me one after the other. From getting through my Olvls, to getting a job in AKLTG, to the Clique outing and then to orientation. I was reading through all the stories ive typed. All the complains Ive listed & all the comments that Ive made as I didnt know that God is watching. I cant help it but to shed tears. Tears of joy, regret and hope. I realised that I am really fortunate to be where I am right now. I tried to escape from all the problems I have. All the misunderstandings that never fail to appear, every month. But, in fact, I realised that all I was doing was actually running behind that closed doors. I was too myopic to even notice how much I can grow, develop, learn and appreciate life if I were to take action to open that closed doors and step into a a brand new world. A world of possibilities.
Why must we run away from troubles when they are there to make us stronger?
Why cant we bare the challenge that is ahead for us when it is actually there to make us realise our true potential.
How can we not know that the difficulties that we face are never too burdensome for us to handle?
What can we do now?
What can we say to the younger generations out there who gave up their hope just because they feel that people like us, are simply no better than who they are. face challenges, Gave up!
I know this may not make any sense for some of u readers, but truly, as i stepped into a journey which I call Junior College, it made me discover who I truly am. Looking through at all those pictures from my previous posts really touched me. For every steps that I take, I am learning something new. Something that is close to me. Something that I call, inner strength.
Striving hard for Olvls wasn't an easy thing to do.
Getting a place in Adam Khoo Learning Technologies as a camp instructor isnt an opportunity thats easy to come by.
Leaving AKLTG for studies isnt something I am able to get through off easily.
Separating from my clique to pursue our own personal goals and dream was just unbearable. To see all of us taking different route and letting go of each other hands, did nothing more other than to shed tears because we wished that we can repeat the whole series of good memories all over again.
Now, in Meridian JC, ive realised that it is not a choice to be regretted. Its a choice that needs to be challenged. Its life.
Oh Allah, give me the inner strength for which I need for the fact that I am only an ordinary mankind from which you have created. From you I seek forgiveness. and from you I seek direction.
Labels: his life
As we are reading this together, we realised how time flies. The ups & downs of our daily life kept us stronger day by day. Till today, I simply could not believe of where I am right now. The countless nights of drinking coffee, memorising facts and burning the midnight oil for the sake of my O levels were in fact one of the best experiences I have.
Not forgetting the many milestones in AKLTG.
Nanyang Primary was my last camp before I re-enter my journey as a student in JC.The 3 days 2 night camp was if a countdown for me to see how much time I have left for FUN, JOY, LAUGHTER & to MAKE A DIFFERENCE in people's life.
There I am standing right infront of 500 students & spending the last moment in AKLTG during the finale night
and then comes this Orientation Camp(Odessey) in Meridian JC, where a whole new journey begins for me. Many journeys, One voyage.*im the one in blue btw. (: *
ended up in a group of MUGGERS, callisto 7
To let my artistic talent flow.
& what Ive learnt in AKLTG for MJC performance night(:
As we are done reading this together, I know as well as you do that we should cherish every moment in the journey of our life with people around us because people do not want to know how much we care for that someone until that someone knows how much we care.
Let me conclude this post by wishing you readers a happy friendship day, happy chinese new year and a happy valentines day.
(:
Labels: his life
Yes, I have not updated my blog for such a long time.
Main reason? Busy preparing myself.
Just some quick updates about me.
1) Left AKLTG for studies. Sad lah sia.
2) Posted to Meridian JC ( science stream)
3) Taking Physics H2, Econs H2, Maths H2, Chem H1
4) Orientation camp - Monday to Wed
5) Bought PUMA bag, MESSY shoes & NIKE street soccer shoes for the start.
6) 8th FEB school officially begins.
I can guarantee you readers that my blog gonna be dead for couple of months. So be patient aite.
smile.
Labels: his life
